Ever wonder how or why you get stuck in the same place time and time again, surrounded by the same type of people? This has happened to me more than once until I leveled up my awareness. Now this is not to say it does not still happen on occasion, it most certainly does, but I recognize it sooner and am able to act, righting my oval back into the circle it is meant to be for a healthier self.
In a moment of calm when I remembered to practice self-care and took a little time out, I found the common thread. I had a “friend” that I was in the habit of talking to almost daily. I looked forward to those calls, every time the phone would ring or the text would ding I was hoping it was my dear “friend”. However, there were days when nothing felt right, my inner self was practically screaming for a change, yet I continued on.
Problem was, when my “friend” called it was always to dump some personal issue on me or some gossip that she had just heard. In the beginning I thought she wanted help, to talk through a few things, a listening ear perhaps and so I listened and advised. The following day or so I would wait anxiously to see if she put our discussion into practice and what the NEW outcome was. It had to be something wonderful and life changing for sure! Are you with me so far, has something like this happened to you?
Turns out, after a few months of this one sided conversation of complaining and airing of grievances I realized she was not looking for help, answers or a way to change her situation. NOT AT ALL. She was just enjoying dumping toxic information and found some fool to listen to it. Now perhaps she did not realize this, I know it took me some time.
Lesson learned: surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel good, who fill your cup and yes you fill theirs. It is okay to be a sounding board from time to time but DO NOT take on or own their problems. It is not your job to spend your free time, and we all know free time is short, to listen to and surround yourself with toxic conversation and people.
Remember the rule of 5: You are most like the five people you spend most of your time with. Take a good look around, who are your five? Do you like what they stand for? Do you like who you become when you are with them? If not, cut ties.
If you want someone to walk along side of you as you rediscover your best self, send me an email or give me a call for a free 20 minute consultation and take charge of your life. You are in control!